Inspired by Jenna
Events, people—things that are easy to remember. But there are other things that elude me sometimes, and they are no less (and sometimes more) important than what I can recall.
So eleven things, lest I forget.
- I have everything I need, and some of what I want. This is the key to happiness. I am safe, warm, and fed. I have friends and family. And I have things I’ve yet to accomplish, something to strive for.
- I am loved. No matter what it feels like some days, there are people in the world who would miss me if I went away. There are people who think of me fondly (and I them), and people who want to spend time with me. It doesn’t matter the number, simply that they exist.
- Life will go on. It feels like the world’s on fire, and maybe it is, but I still have to put one foot in front of the other and live my life. The best I can do is to live it with kindness, empathy, and humility, and hope that it ripples out into the bigger world and in some way changes it—even if it is only for one person.
- This is the best I’ll ever look. It should be no secret that I am vain. But I am not stupid. The person I see in the mirror today will be replaced one day with someone I do not recognize at first. Aging happens by inches for a reason, I think, so that when you arrive at your final version it’s not the shock you think it’s going to be (I hope). But that’s not the lesson: The lesson is to love who I am right here, right now, to be comfortable in my skin and in my heart. The irony is that this is so much easier than it was before gravity began winning the fight, before all those smiles etched their memories at the corners of my eyes. Balance in all things.
- It’s not about me. If you believe in reincarnation, or even just that each of us has a single lesson to learn in life, you’ll understand when I say this is mine. I’m very much a Leo, which means if I’m not the center of attention what am I even doing? But this is not the way my life has gone. Often my efforts to be noticed have been overshadowed by other things—even my birthday has been co-opted a time or two. It gets easier to accept the older I get, which means I’m learning what I am supposed to. Maybe next time I’ll be famous…
- It’s okay not to be ambitious. I used be, or at least I thought I should be, but the truth is I am not. Material success would be nice, but it’s not what drives me to do much of anything. Creating a life that feels good, feels balanced, is what drives me. I am at my best when I’m following my heart, I am most helpful to those I love and to myself.
- Feelings just are. They’re neither good nor bad, they just are. It’s what you do with those feelings that matters, it’s action that falls on the side of dark or light. Feel your feelings, and mind your actions.
- Love doesn’t go away. Not really, not if it’s real. It endures even when it doesn’t make sense. It endures even if you think it’s not supposed to or that it doesn’t matter. Love is what gives life color and shape and energy. It is the fuel of existence and the source of beauty in all things. Love is a feeling—see number seven.
- Happiness is following my arrow. I’ve never been more unhappy than when I’ve thrown over my own wants for someone else’s shoulds. It’s okay to do my own thing, and I know what’s best for me. Period.
- Remember other people. I am essentially a self-contained unit. As much as I care about and love others, I am very okay on my own. That is, until I’m not. But I cannot rely on others to reach out to me unless I reach out to them as well. Relationships go both ways.
- It’s never going to feel like enough, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. There are many things I want to do, many wrongs I want to right, many peaces I want to broker. But I am one person and I can only do so much. But no matter what I do it will never be enough—and that’s not bad because it ensures that I will always keep trying (and yes, I will, because I am nothing if not stubborn AF).
Photo by David Monje on Unsplash
